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Play a game of gratitude ping pong

September 21 marked World Gratitude Day.

Did you feel the vibes? I didn’t; it was a gloomy day, and our rainy New Hampshire summer was coming to an end. I had also missed celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day, on September 19.

So I challenged my friends to a game of gratitude ping pong.

The rules are easy. You’re either in the same room or texting each other. One starts by naming a thing they’re grateful for (mine was those marshmallow pumpkins, only available around Halloween). Another responds with a thing they’re grateful for, and so on. The game lasts for 5 minutes, 10 minutes if there are more than two players.

We all felt better.

Science says it wasn’t a fluke.

Gratitude is a positive emotion that happens when you feel like you’ve been the recipient of someone else’s positive action. You acknowledge goodness in your life and that other people have had a hand in that goodness.

People benefit from expressions of gratitude, according to a 2003 study by Robert A. Emmons, the godfather of gratitude interventions. He wondered how people benefit from gratitude; his findings showed that the gratitude-outlook groups exhibited “heightened well-being … relative to the comparison groups.” In plain English, participants felt more positive in their outlook and more connected with others after consciously focusing on blessings versus the control groups.

Emmons’s work has been supported by numerous studies showing that a grateful outlook and expressing gratitude towards others (writing a thank you note to a friend or teacher) can have positive effects on our well being as well as our relationships.

Dr. Emmons asserts that gratitude can “heal, energize, and change lives.” It’s the prism through which we can view life and our relationships with greater satisfaction and general positivity.

Feeling gratitude is only half the equation, though: expressing gratitude builds positive emotions, and calms our minds - reducing anxiety and depression in the long run. People who frequently express gratitude have better immune systems; they sleep better; and they report higher levels of life satisfaction, vitality and optimism.

Start a gratitude practice.

Even though I missed Talk Like a Pirate Day, every day can be a gratitude day. With a regular gratitude practice, we start seeing positive things around us, creating an upward positive spiral.

So what do you do?

Emmons and his compatriots suggest naming three things that you’re grateful for each day: at the end of your day, simply jot down three things you’re grateful for. Once you get in the habit, you’ll find yourself looking for things to write down - that upward spiral keeps positive emotions flowing. The act of writing slows you down and lets you think more deliberately, while creating a permanent record of your thoughts, according to the New York Times.

Joel Wong, a professor at Indiana University, has developed a list of gratitude prompts for his research. These questions can help you reflect on what you feel grateful for. There are 100 of them, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding what works for you. Try my favorites:

• What went well this week?

• What went better than expected today?

• Who puts a smile on my face?

Things I’m grateful for this week.

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

1. Fab Fu’s Random Thoughts on Banned Books Week. I promised the author of this newsletter that I’d shout out my banned books. She stole my Judy Blume book. And, quite frankly, I haven’t read a lot of books on the most recent banned books list except The Handmaid’s Tale. It seems almost banal to shout out Margaret Atwood, but I’ll do that. I’m grateful for authors who push the envelope enough to get people out of their comfort zones.

2. This New York Times article on gratitude, which got me out of my fall funk and back into my gratitude practice.

3. Those marshmallow pumpkins you only get around Halloween.